Should I wait for my ex to contact me first (should I contact my ex who dumped me)? (2023)

FAQs

Should I reach out to my ex who I dumped? ›

How Long Before You Should Talk To Your Ex After A Breakup? You may want to wait at least 30 days before you speak to your ex after a breakup. You might wait longer if you were together for a few years or more and broke up. Often, a few months to a year can be a suitable amount of time to wait for many individuals.

Should I Wait For My Ex To Contact Me First? No, you should contact your ex whenever you feel you are ready to start speaking to them again. The idea behind No Contact Rule is to help you heal from the breakup, regain your confidence, and figure out how to fix what was broken in your relationship.

Once you've ended things, it's better to wait a few days before reaching out with your platonic olive branch. Giving your ex some time to come to terms with the state of your relationship shows that you respect their needs and feelings.

Aiming to have your ex reach out to you first really isn't that important as long as you're ending the conversations at the high points. If you keep having satisfying conversations with your ex and ending them before they get boring, your ex is bound to desire to talk to you so he will reach out first eventually.

Your ex has not responded to your last five attempts to start a conversation. They've been with someone new for longer than 8 months. You've been on a “hard block” for longer than 3 months. You have broken the no contact rule more than 8 times.

Breakups are hard, but even though it can feel like reaching back out to your ex will fix things, Brenner advises waiting a while before doing so — at least a couple of months. Until then, keep yourself occupied with friends, family, and activities, and know that this pain will eventually pass.

Yes, an ex misses you during No Contact. They miss you because they no longer have what they used to have. Your ex misses you even though you don't talk because they have time to adjust to your absence. This will help them reflect and miss you more.

How to make your ex miss you? ›

I hope you're doing well. It's been a while since we talked. Tell me about what you've been doing in the last couple of weeks.” This neutral response doesn't set up any expectations and gives you some time to converse, feel things out, and then decide based on how you feel.

Roughly 4 weeks of time alone should be enough to get back into the normal rhythm of the single life. It might feel messy and strange at first, but after 30 days you may find yourself feeling much better. While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different.

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

"Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she says. If you dated someone for a year or more, you may need three to four months.

A study of 3,512 people found that only 15% got back together with their ex. Another 14% briefly reunited only to break up, and a whopping 70% called it quits for good after their break-up.

If the relationship was good and the breakup response was decent by no contact being implemented soon enough, the odds are about 70%. So the best-case scenario of the No Contact Rule is a 70% success rate in getting an ex back.

What should be the last message after breakup? ›

Express what you did wrong, say you're sorry, and wish them well moving forward. You might even be able to get some shared closure on the breakup. “I've been thinking a lot about what happened between us, and I'm sorry for how I acted. You didn't deserve that.”

Make small gestures of friendship. Being generally helpful and attentive will help you to indicate to your ex that you do still care about him. Small gestures can be a good way to show your ex that you still think of him.

If your ex is trying to contact you, or maybe even trying to speak to you at weird hours, then it might be a sign they still think about you. Another big sign is social media. If they somehow didn't get rid of you via an unfriending or straight block, it might mean they miss you.

How do you make your ex want you back after he dumped you? ›

Missing someone after a breakup is normal and happens all the time. It simply means that you had a real connection that meant something to you. It is perfectly alright to give yourself time to heal and grieve the loss of the relationship.

No Contact is a technique that is effective because it helps people to stop thinking about each other and allows them to focus on themselves. It might feel challenging, but it's a constructive way of dealing with a painful situation.

When should you text your ex-girlfriend? For a typical breakup, wait at least 30 days to text your ex-girlfriend. According to the famous no contact rule, 30 days is enough time for both of you to get in a better headspace and healthily process your feelings.

While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different. Some people move on really fast after a breakup, while other people take a long time. If 30 days pass and you still aren't ready, it's totally okay to extend your period of no contact.

The No Contact rule will work if he has lost feelings to either make or break the relationship. If this distance makes him realize that the relationship was never stable, his feelings might not change.

In fact, based on our research you can expect the average ex to begin missing you anywhere between 2.5 to 5.2 months after a breakup assuming you put forth signals that you are “moving on from them.” We're going show you how we came to this conclusion by drawing on our knowledge on, Attachment Styles.

A week gives the person enough time to thoughtfully respond. Even though it's a little old-fashioned, some people will wait 3 days after a date to text you back to make you miss them more. Waiting any longer than a week could be a sign they're not interested, and it might be best to let the conversation die out.

How long will a guy go no contact? ›

You have to use the no-contact rule for at least two months. You should stop texting or calling him. If possible, also stop interacting with him on social media. With the no-contact rule, male psychology will start to kick in.

Is it selfish to talk to your ex? Remember: There's nothing wrong with wanting to talk to your ex, and it's completely OK to want to reach out to them. But as Fehr says, it might not be the best idea in the long run. You simply must do what feels best for you, and only you know what that is.

In short, I'm of the belief that most dumpers ARE NOT afraid to contact their exes. Instead, they're simply falling victim to their natural avoidant tendencies which makes most people think they're afraid of contacting them.

However, it can be detrimental, while you're grieving, to check up on your ex because it can bring back all the negative emotions tied to the relationship and why it ended in the first place. The temptation to check up on your ex is strong, especially when you want them back.

But texting them immediately after a breakup is a mistake. You should do no contact before you text your ex. Take some time out for yourself, work on yourself, make some positive changes in your life and make sure that getting back together is the right decision for you.